In helping with 6th grade math homework, I am reminded to congratulate my 12-year old self. You were right, young Rachel. Everyone just uses decimals and calculators. Dividing fractions really never does come up in the real world.
Unless you are helping some other 12-year old with homework.
I was going to mark my college graduation anniversary with a post celebrating the major changes that have occurred the past year. However, work has once again gotten the best of me and so far I’ve only written about 1/12 of my year. But I think it’s okay because you’d probably kill me if I crammed the other 11/12 into one post anyway. So without further ado, here’s part 1 of my reminiscent series documenting my first year out of school.
May 2007:
Elation and and overpowering sense of loss dominate the days. You turn 22 on the day of your last college final. You laugh and cry and celebrate all at once because you have never been very good at change. You are especially bad at leaving things behind.
And that’s what graduating is. It’s leaving behind friends and roommates and those random kids from class that you don’t actually talk to but you’ve heard them ask enough dumb questions to feel like you know them. It’s parting ways with droning professors that taught you to love crosswords and with amazing professors that taught you to love so many different subjects simply because of the passion that comes from learning interesting new things. It’s saying goodbye to long days on campus, moving from class to class, job to job, building to building. You used to dread these long days, but nostalgia at the end makes you realize that there are fewer places more beautiful to spend an endless day. Graduation also marks the end of your three day weekends, you late morning classes and even later nights, and the last time until 65 that you can legitimately consider going on The Price Is Right. It’s the end of the way of life you’ve known for the past 16 years: school. And as the big day approaches, you think that maybe you should get a second major and start all over because you’re really not ready to graduate.
It’s scary, but it’s exciting. Because you are also saying goodbye to tests and textbooks and all-night cram sessions and procrastinated papers. Your family comes in from around the country to celebrate with you. There are dinners and awards banquets and more pictures than you could imagine. And you realize that maybe this dreaded graduation is actually a big accomplishment. And you smile though you fear the unknown. It starts to feel like the world is at your fingertips, and you hope that perhaps someone out in that waiting world wants to give you a job.
Dear Everyone,
I graduated from the business school on Thursday and had the all-school graduation on Friday. Life is good. Thanks for everyone who came and for the many of you who have supported me in my 16 years of school. You are all awesome…almost as awesome as me!
Love to all,
Your favorite new college graduate
I have 3 classes, 2 finals, and 1 paper until I’m finished with college. It’s kind of like the 12 days of Christmas, only the rewards of getting to the end of college are way cooler than partridges. (Honestly, no one even knows what a partridge is, other than an obscure bird or a family of semi-obnoxious singers.) While being done with college marks the end of an era that I am sad to leave (as demonstrated during my post of mourning), I am also very excited to have successfully finished.
As I look back over my past 4 years, I realize that I have acquired a lot of knowledge. Yes, a lot of time has been spent in the classroom and library studying, but I have discovered that college holds as many lessons outside the classroom as it does inside. So here is a small selection of things my time at CU has taught me.
Things I Have Learned In College
Time spent with friends always means more than time spent studying.
Most things can be “learned” in the week before the test.
Rarely is it pleasant to wake up with any kind of -eeto/-ito breath. If you have a late night craving for fake cheese, brush.
You can successfully give out the fake number 867-5309 by adding an area code and saying “zero” instead of “o.”
Waiting until the semester is 1/4 of the way over before buying the book is a good way to get 50% on your first quiz.
A Dr. Jekyll professor on day one does not guarantee the absence of Mr. Hyde the rest of the semester.
Seeing school theatre productions may involve people in loincloths. Prepare yourself.
There is no such thing as a “cool” engineering center employee…damn.
Crossword puzzle ability is much more impressive than financial portfolio analysis ability.
Salsa goes with everything.
Squishy bruised apples and a tennis racket make for quality entertainment.
There are few things in life as enjoyable as a crisp fall day at a college football game.
Metal grates on the sidewalk have the ability to develop ice overnight and create splendidly disastrous wipeouts the next morning.
There is a special place in the hearts of many apartment dwellers for those who neglect to password protect their wireless internet.
Not having class on Friday very rarely produces productive days on Friday. However, it often produces entertaining nights on Thursday.
Being caffeinated is not equivalent to being motivated.
No amount of monetary savings makes 1-ply toilet paper worth it.
The decision to read textbooks in bed never results in more than 15 minutes of reading. The ability to continually convince oneself that “it will work this time” is one of the greatest mysteries in life.
Always spell check. Even in Excel.
The key to studying is understanding when you have your most productive hours.
The key to having your most productive hours in the morning is to not sleep through them.
“World Cuisine” night in the dorms is a good night to order pizza.
Management classes suck.
When the insomniac in the apartment below you buys a speedbag, don’t expect your life to be the same.
Earphones are crucial to ignoring the people handing out environmental fliers.
Don’t keep chocolate that you don’t want to share in the kitchen.
Study abroad.
Having friends in sororities is like having friends who will share their personal chef.
Never re-read a paper after you’ve turned it in, unless you want to be frustrated by mistakes you can’t fix.
Even as an adult, there will continue to be people who don’t wash their hands after they go to the bathroom.
A group project will always have at least one kid that doesn’t pull their weight. And occasionally, group projects will have one kid that shows up plastered for the day of the final project. (the latter phenomenon may be less evident at schools that did not spend time atop the “#1 Party School in America” list…)
By the nature of Murphy and his damned law, all 8:00 classes will be in the farthest possible building on campus from where you live.
Campus parking meters still apply on weekends.
Dishwashers are in fact appliances that are subject to electrical fire.
The boiled noodle hierarchy: Spaghetti > Mac & Cheese > Ramen.
Advil fixes everything.
You can determine the quality of the professor in the class before yours by the amount of newspapers left behind by previous students.
It is indeed possible to go through an entire year without changing the vacuum bag.
Never assume that your roommate is in charge of getting a bill sent in.
When people offer free food from 12-2, get there closer to 12 than 2.
Not liking to wear shoes does not make it is a good idea to wear flipflops year round in Colorado. However, any day above 50 is permissible.
College goes quickly. Enjoy it while it lasts.
May 7th might be close to Cinco de Mayo, but in fact it has much more in common with the Day of the Dead. Okay, that’s not entirely true because the Day of the Dead is actually celebrated as a joyous holiday to honor the deceased. There is nothing joyous about May 7th. But the name feels applicable, so I’m leaving the intro despite the fact that it is culturally incorrect…
Here are all the reasons why May 7th is a day of mourning:
May 7, 2007 = The Death of a Student. A great American tragedy — it’s a plot worthy of Arthur Miller, really.
Reason #1,000,000,000 Why I’m Not Ready To Graduate In A Month
Instead of being responsible, going to the library, and studying for a rapidly impending quiz, I decided that it was a much better option to walk home from school and have a popsicle.
I feel that anyone who is extrinsically motivated by popsicles is not prepared for the real world. I’m not ready for post-graduation life. I like popsicle life better.