Since sharing my ‘idiosyncracy’ yesterday, I’ve been thinking about offering a more complete selection of the things in life that irritate me. Here’s a quick list – please keep in mind that I’m
particular, stubborn, and somewhat judgmental usually quite nice and agreeable.
In no particular order:
- Visibly dirty ears. (I Q-Tip compulsively, which I know is not normal or even particularly healthy, but man! ear wax grosses me out. I blame this on being forced to sit alphabetically at lunch in elementary school. The specimens I imagined to be growing in John T.’s ears still make me shudder.)
- 24-hour news networks. If I wanted to hear the same irritating babble played over and over in a endless loop, I would listen to techno.
- When your cell phone screen gets all smudgy from touching your face.
- People who use the panic button to remember where they parked. There’s a saying that if you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Similarly, if you can’t find your nondescript SUV, stay out of the mall parking lot.
- When the toilet paper rolls from under – it feeds from over the top or it’s wrong.
- Having to pay in cash for parking. Or ever, really.
- Sharing the elevator with one person. alone = great. group = expected. one other person = pretending that being in a confined space equates to wanting to engage in polite small talk = no good.
- When my iPod shuffles to a song that really must be heard as part of an album. For example, I actually didn’t even know that Golden Slumbers and Carry That Weight were separate songs until my iPod shuffled through just one of them and left me wondering what happened to the rest. There are just some cases when One and Done just isn’t going to cut it.
- Use of the words ‘crotchety,’ ‘weep,’ and ‘gay’ as an insult. Also, the pronunciation of mature as “muh-tyoor.” Every time I hear that it takes me back to 7th grade keyboarding class. First, I cringe. Then, I laugh when remembering the lecture we got when some less-than-’muh-tyoor’ person kept putting condoms over the door knob. Even funnier now that I know they weren’t balloons…