People Magazine Voted Me As The Sexiest Man of the Year

Have you ever realized that the “sexiest man of the year” is really just another way to say, “the actor who had a hit movie/tv show this year who we think would probably look very good on our cover?” Sexy a proxy for success and popularity. I think living in Hollywood would be akin to living in a world that votes for prom queen every single day.
Anyways…
Though the title might not imply it, I made it a goal to stop caring about celebrity gossip and feel like I have made tremendous strides in that regard. I’ve stopped buying the magazines (actually, I’ve worked to kick mags all together and spend my reading time with books and things that possess a degree of intelligence/meaning), stopped watching the what’s-happening-today-in-Hollywood shows, and (not without some degree of internal strife) have stopped following the E! fashion police online.
Results: all in all, I’m very happy with this. I like that I’m spending my time elsewhere, and I am EXTRAORDINARILY pleased that I starting kicking the habit before all this Anna Nicole Smith nonsense. The absurdity of that scenario really reaffirmed to me that there should be no reason to care about this stuff.
However, I’m still wondering: at what point does it become “bad” to possess all this information about people I don’t know? One one hand, the stories disseminated by the media is 99% useless crap. I know this and I realize that there really is no need to know about Britney’s daily debacles, as chronicled by ridiculous photographers. But on the other hand, is it okay for me to know that Angelina Jolie adopted another child? It still falls in the same overall genre, but the quality of the information seems much more useful. So the ultimate question: can any celebrity gossip actually be justified as “worth knowing?”
Any opinions as to how much information is “okay” information? And any ideas as to how to get the (relatively) useful information while leaving the crap behind?

the way it could be…

6 (66) reasons why it categorically sucks to share a bathroom

with your 10 year old brother

The Way It Should Be

  1. Aiming issues. Have you ever seen Gung Hu with Michael Keaton? He has a line that goes something along lines of, “Come to the game. We get drunk and then pee for distance.” The boss responds, “Uh, we pee for accuracy.” Man, I wish brothers were more like bosses.
  2. Toilet seat mechanics. Now, the problem here is not leaving the seat up. I’m not one to get upset about that, because if boys can be expected to lift the seat then I should also be expected to be able to move it back into position. The issue is the non-movement of the seat in conjunction with problems concerning the above mentioned #1.
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revelation

Occasionally when I interact with people, I worry that I am too harsh when I think that someone is an idiot. And then sometimes I have those moments of epiphany. Those are the times when you look someone in the eye, and you look past the outside facade to the person they are within. Then you think to yourself:

If right now I were to assume that you have the intelligence level of a single-celled organism, my conclusions about you in this case would be completely justified.

MADNESS!

3 Unlikely Scenarios:
Things I Like to Picture Happening During This Year’s NCAA Tournament
1. I think that it would be delightful if Winthrop could beat Notre Dame, simply because I think Winthrop sounds like the name of the kid from middle school with thick glasses, a slight lisp, and an irrefutable knowledge of the Dewy Decimal system. Wouldn’t it be fun to picture a team of said Winthrops taking down a group of Fighting Irish?

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looks like I missed the boat again

I was getting ready today and I was struck with this realization: I will never be a Victoria’s Secret model. I had just blow dried my hair, and I discovered that even that its peak level of performance, my hair just doesn’t have that requisite runway bounce. If I stay inside and sit very still, my hair will kind of do what I want.

…I think about their perfectly formed curls: full, vivaciously bouncing with every step, never falling out of place though they are alive with movement…
The only way I could jaunt down the catwalk would be if I was heralded as a nouveau bald model and they bypassed the hair issues altogether by shaving my head before every show.

It’s a good thing I never wanted to be a model because its a harsh reality that my locks’ lack of full-bodied luminosity will hold me back.

Oh wait? That’s not the part of the Victoria’s Secret model that people notice? Hmmm…
I think the conclusion is the same. Let’s not split hairs…